Two for the price of one, kids!
First, The Snark was on a trip to the land of the great unwashed, today. Yes, I went to Wal Mart. I’d rather get a Brazilian Wax than go to Wally World. Too damn many people sharing too few brain cells, and, in all likelihood, the same toothbrush.
There are two doors at each end of Wal Mart. One door is clearly labeled “ENTER” and the other, “EXIT” (or “ENTRADA” Y “SALIDA” for my Spanish speaking friends).
So, what door do the great majority of the dregs of society choose? Exactly the opposite of the one that describes what they need to do. I made an older fella swear when I had the gall to exit through the door marked EXIT. I was in his way, and he wanted to enter, but he was too stupid to read EXIT and, instead, chose to make like a salmon and swim against the current.
It probably wasn’t really necessary for me to run into him with my shopping cart and then pretend that I was a schoolgirl from Paraguay. My attempt at humor went right over his head, and his leg and his spleen. He’ll probably be alright. Modern medicine is incredible.
Second, and this one is CHAP CENTRAL for the Snark Man, shopping cart return etiquette. Why do so many people think that it’s okay to leave their shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot? Anyone who doesn’t feel like a total asshole, when doing so, really should. Because you ARE an asshole if you’re too lazy to take that damn cart the extra six or seven steps to put it in the cart corral.
Not only is there a better than average chance that your laziness could damage someone else’s property, there’s also the human decency factor. It says a whole lot about your character, or lack thereof, when you’re too much of a prima donna to take the time to do the right thing.
If I’m in the parking lot and see you doing the not-returning-the-cart thing, I’m probably gonna make a LOT of noise in pointing out your douchebaggery to anyone that will listen. If you cry and swear to never go anyplace that has shopping carts again, then my mission is completed. But, you better warn Grandma about me. I don’t discriminate based on age, sex (unless you’re doing it on my car), national origin or whether or not you have a damn Sam’s Club card.
You’ve been warned…………….
– Uncle Snarky –
Uncle Snarky Explains It All 
At times I will walk in through the out door just as a tribute to Prince and his Raspberry Beret. It’s also a show of open defiance to the norms of society. But a big issue for me deals with the shopping cart menace. I’ve seen carts left everywhere. Seems like the most convenient place is to leave them in the handicapped parking spots. Why not? It’s not like anyone’s parked there at the time. They’re not likely to park there in the future either because SOMEBODY LEFT THEIR DAMNED SHOPPING CART IN THE HANDICAPPED PARKING SPACE!!! It has to be an extreme situation for me to not kindly return my shopping cart to an appropriate spot. I’ve even gone as far as to mention my shopping cart etiquette during job interviews as a sign of my good character. It hasn’t gotten me any jobs yet, but at least I feel better about myself. Maybe if I start dropping names, like Uncle Snarky, I’ll have a much better shot at my dream job.
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Kevin, you are THE MAN! I often shake my head in wonder, or is it disgust, at the assholes who find the handicapped spaces the perfect place to leave their shopping carts.
These lazy shitheads can’t be troubled to walk the extra 20 feet to put the cart away properly. Instead, they choose to inconvenience others.
The handicapped are blocked from the spaces assigned for their needs by able-bodied men and women who aren’t worth a bucket of warm piss.
Big salute to you, my brother, for your strength of character and for making The Snark feel pretty damn groovy about himself!
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